Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
