I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
