just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
