So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
