Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
