is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
