Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
