you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
