you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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