Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
