similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
