i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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