hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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