the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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