I'm gonna have a badass scar
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
