I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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