is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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