I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
