dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
