Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
