are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
