Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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