I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
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When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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