cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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