i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize