your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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