Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
