im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
