dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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