p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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