when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
