yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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