Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize