Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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