I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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