my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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