THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
