and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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