YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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