Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
