Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
