i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
