1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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