So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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