Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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