my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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