how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
