If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
