Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
