made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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