ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
