he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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