I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
