life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize