my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
