I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
