Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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