Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
