I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
