you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
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Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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