I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
