wrigley field is MILF paradise
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You made out with two different species that night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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