I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
