i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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