I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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