if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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